Should I keep my old drinking friends or not? That was a big question in my early sobriety. Were they really true friends I wondered? I realized now how they enabled and encouraged me. Not good. But I enabled and encouraged them also. My drinking friends were important to me. I was a social binge drinker. I liked getting drunk fast and in front of an audience. I felt like a God. Everyone else got a good laugh, a sense of adventure, a crazy story or ended up avoiding me.

It was an inside joke for me and my regular drinking friends. We knew things would get out of hand and some would be upset with us. But we knew we would always forgive each other. Besides, there was too much fun to be had to let a few hurt feelings get in the way. My drinking group was younger and more successful than I was. I really wanted them in my life.

Now I changed in a big way. I had a moment of clarity and saw I was risking everything in my life. I understood now that I was a danger to myself and others. And shouldn’t I carry the message to them? I felt closer to many of them than my family!

I was afraid. Afraid my alcoholic mind was making excuses to go back to wet and dangerous places. Were my friends beyond help and dangerous to me? I knew no amount of interference with my drinking worked. If anything, I became more entrenched, committed and certain about driving. Besides, do I even like my drinking friends for encouraging my disease and being entertained by it?

I knew I still loved many of them. They took the decision making and questions away from me. I never had to “decide”.  All were extremely supportive. My closest friends flew up from Florida to see me sober. Probably half because they didn’t believe it and half to support me. They knew I had low self-esteem and that I wondered if they would spend time with me sober. It was barely 6 months out so I put all of the AA tools to work that first time. I was on the phone with my network constantly.

I am lucky they were so supportive. They know I think they have “a problem” but we laugh about it. I’m probably wrong, who knows? The main thing is that almost 4 years later we are all still good friends. I still hold out hope that they will see the light I am holding up in the darkness for them. At least they have first hand knowledge that there is a solution. I’m glad to be an example to the people I love and love me